100 WC – Caught in the act

She’s metres away from us. She’s chasing us as we run through the castle. She’s laughing, like we have no chance, but we can’t give up. Not now. My legs ache, but fear has taken over and I don’t – I won’t stop running.

Finally. That magic cracked stone wall is ahead of us. I turn to the stranger. He turns to me. We’ve done it. We are going to make it out alive. I can almost grasp back on to my life. Get it back. Live life again. We run threw the wall, but it’s too late. She’s frozen us.

 

My goal for this 100 WC was to use interesting sentence fluency.  I tried writing lots of small sentences in a row. I’d like to use this technique in future writing.

2 thoughts on “100 WC – Caught in the act

  1. Brynn,
    well done for choosing and working so thoughtfully on this goal. Sentence fluency is incredibly powerful when creating suspense and so many times here it is used beautifully. I was particularly impressed with the way your first paragraph is crafted. The repetition of ‘she’ at the start of the first 3 sentences creates fear of this unknown character. Two short sentences about her chasing you are followed by a third longer sentence that starts about her, but turns around and ends up being hopeful about you. This determination is then re-emphasised with the change from ‘don’t’ to ‘won’t’ in the next sentence.
    Beautiful work again Brynn!
    Ant

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